Dating, Life, Relationships, Sex in the City, Uncategorized

How to Keep A Man Interested

How long have I yearned to know the way to Keep A Man Interested in me? I just so happen to like the “unattainable ones” so me keeping them interested for longer than a hot minute, was a rare occurrence considering I was – habitually single.

How many unreturned phone calls, texts and plan flaking on their behalf does it take for one to realize that – maybe it is you?

For myself, it took me 26 years to find out How to Keep A Man Interested. Long maybe? So long I live and breath it is better now than never.

We always hear about how “uncomplicated” men are – Feed him, give him a beer, good BJ, and you’re in. What that outdated Keeping Him “analogy” should say is:

Picture a brand new baby boy, let’s call him Freud. Freud is being fed by his Mommy …(amongst other things) – he is also being fondled for his small and cute demeanour. Freud eventually begins to walk and put words together like “moma” and “dada”. As the time goes by his behaviour becomes at a higher rate more tiresome to moma than the rate of praise she shows him. This eventually, starts to harden Freud (subconsciously – at the most part) on the outside. Freud is increasingly less able to impress his mama and dada with his antics and is receiving much less fondling.

[fon┬Ědle, verb, past tense: fondled; past participle: fondled
1.stroke or caress lovingly or erotically.]

No matter how much it may seem like Freud doesn’t care about that – He Dose Care.

How many years did I spend being the “elusive” female. The one who was “distant” and “mysterious”, believing that by allowing him to only just touch my body – was like I was doing him a favour. What I failed to realize was.. how un-fufiling a man “touching my body” really is to them.

These men can have sex anywhere and usually with anyone.

Men crave that part of attention his mom stopped giving him as he grew older. Even if his mom continued to give him some form of attention and undying support, there is a percentage he is lacking to reach 100% fondling safeness.

Once you realize the importance of showing him the praise, support, undying love and exotic fondling he is lacking (maybe you’re even lucky to have really nice-plump breasts to serve as a pillow for him) can you have the man yearn for you.

If you’re hot – bonus.

Dating, Sex in the City

Is It All In The Kiss?

Recently I went out with a gentleman, you know the guy who has it all together and is also polite – score.

He has a great job, owns a home and would get along great with my mother – a feet in itself. He was pretty attractive and is an active member of the community (yes he does charity).

We had a lovely talk over wine (a passion we both share) – he even wants to own his own vineyard one day.. wow one can dream….

We moved on to the next portion of our date, a board games cafe and it was actually quite fun. We laughed and I was able to impress him with my wit – which usually takes time to show due to nerves. No alcohol was even required for me to give him my best flirting techniques (minus the one glass of wine but that doesn’t really count).

Finally as it was getting late, he did the gentlemanly thing and asked to drive me home – and I wasn’t even scared to be alone with him in the car, so off we went.

When we got to his car, I was also pleased; it was nice, new and abnormally clean – as if he just got it detailed…..(def a million times better than being gross and dirty – some extra points). I sat down put my seat belt on and that’s when it happened… the out of nowhere – lean in – go for it kiss.

It was quick – as in all of a sudden, one minute I am buckling up and the next he was directly in my face moving faster till his lips were on mine, aka no way to escape – his tongue was like a poking water feature that leaked into my mouth; hard and very wet. Not to be rude I suppose I “went along with it” until I was able to retract and give him my “I am too innocent to continue anymore – even though I really want too look” (he still had to drive me home and all).

He made plans for us to see each other again; an evening of a late, fabulous dinner and a screening of a new movie… perfection.. really.. but the night of I had to cancel. I couldn’t bring myself to see him again.

Dating, Life, Relationships, Sex in the City, Uncategorized

Meeting Somebody New

What to do when you meet someone new?

This is a person that despite everything seems normal.. and bonus… attractive. So to pass up on an opportunity, as you know, would be crazy.

In order to fully benefit one must “act accordingly”…and if you “think you found someone and they end up to be a complete jerk then please realize that you suck at picking people”. (I still think there is hope for you though) -article coming soon.

1. Keep it cool – literally. Do not think about anything in particular. If you guys are going to hang out it is going to happen, and boys (you better make it happen).

2. Ensure that they treat you how they would treat their daughters/sons. Would you really want to be with someone who leaves their own child out in the cold for no reason other than trusting you? No, therefore if they act you that way, then how can you trust them with your own children..aka.. drop – on to the next.

3. For the ladies: be your amazing self. & please for goodness sakes put a smile on your face and enjoy life, when you’re old reminiscing about ‘it all’, you will regret being a pussy.

For further reading I would definitely recommend something written from London UK.

Break-Ups, Dating, Life, Uncategorized

When You’re Single There Is No Sympathy

Recently I had plans with an old friend whom I haven`t seen in quite sometime. My roommate happened to forget her keys, and by forget I mean, was out with her boyfriend (who also has a key btw) and they ending up breaking up (for the umpteenth time) leaving her without her key to get into our place. She came to meet me at the place I was at to pick up her key and ended up staying with us, hey I saw she was sad so I didn`t want to send her away.

However my night ended up being me sitting on a chair (pretty much alone) while her and my friend (who is just recently in a relationship) spent the whole time talking about her relationship issues. I was literally sitting there dancing with myself aka was fully ignored.

Listen, just because I am not in a relationship does not mean I do not have things on my mind that effect me and make me sad however when single, friends `relationship issues`usually take precedence over 20s life crisis`and other life quarrels that don`t involve a boyfriend.

As sickening as it is listening to it, the worst is the advice or lack there of that they bestow upon us single people.

six words:

`don`t worry you will find someone`

or even worse

you go out with someone once or twice and your friend in a relationship doesn`t approve

five words:

`dump him and move on`

Thanks for the advice.

The worst is actually engaging in their relationship issues only to find that your advice falls only to deaf ears, they end up getting back together, you are then left in the cold, and they don`t respect your opinion anyways because hey you`re single.

Dating, Life, Uncategorized

Setting Standards – While not dating anyone

I suppose while dating and single, it might be hard to consider oneself lucky. All these happy couples around flaunting their love, which seems like ‘in your face’. As you get older, especially with social media, your friends, acquaintances’, coworkers, etc, ‘next steps’ are a constant reminder that you are not only single, but have absolutely no prospects in your radar.

If your status is currently “dead single” then this is the time to finally be grateful that you are not with the wrong person – give yourself a pat on the back.

But wait – do you think you deserve the pat on the back if you (out of sheer boredom) spend some evenings/any time really, with those guys, you know, the ones you know you will never actually settle down with. The type of guys that include but are not limited to:

- the guy who calls/texts you past 11pm (he’s a busy dude apparently)

- the guy who fucked a couple of your friends

- the guy who doesn’t want a serious relationship

- the guy you aren’t attracted to but spend time with anyways (loneliness enjoys company)

- the taken man (he goes home to someone else)

- the flake guy, he has “rescheduled way too many times”

- the “work in progress” aka. no job, dirty apartment and past the age of 30.

- the guy who makes you feel bad about yourself; he won’t take you seriously, but he has that “life” that you can only dream about

- the list continues – unfortunately.

Or are you the type of person to not waste your time on these individuals? Well if you are then stop reading now because you are either (an introvert, workaholic, school obsessed or…) and that type of behaviour will not be covered here.

While dead single, it is up to you to establish what you deem acceptable in a mate. The time to set your standard has never been more imperative.

What is setting a standard? Well, first you have to think in your mind, who would be your best match? Is he the successful guy, the sensitive artist, active conservative man? Whatever it is, you must pin point it. Make a list of the qualities that are non-negotiable. For example:

1. Employed
2. Makes you laugh
3. Positive outlook on life
4. Considerate of your feelings
5. Makes a certain amount per year – and is generous
6. Get along with family/friends

Keep in mind, this list is a direct reflection of you. The key is to make this list and then be able to live up to it yourself. Basically become the person you want to date. Any questions just ask Girlwadder.

Dating, Life, Relationships, Sex in the City, Uncategorized

Choices – The Other Woman

Most of the time the things you remember most are the things that you never really expected to happen.

Like when you meet someone that only moments before never existed in your life, or existed in your life just in a different way.

Recently I encountered a gentleman who I did know quite well (surface level at least) and things escalated into a spontaneous romantic experience.

He told me that he had feelings for quite sometime for me and I found that declaration incredibly shocking.

Maybe it was because I have been in a particular dating “lull” lately that I allowed myself to be swept away in the moment, not giving my mind enough time to process whether this was a good idea, considering he had a girlfriend

It didn’t take me much time to realize that this was in fact something that cannot move forward or evolve into something more intricate than what it already was. I couldn’t help but relish in the attention he was giving me.

“Attention” meaning taking moments to move his fingers and push send; “attention” as in – meeting me at convenient locations and suggesting late night rendezvous. He felt that the intensity of our indiscretion was strong enough to have me yearning for more.

He told me all about how he wasn’t happy in his current relationship, how he hasn’t been for quite some time. I didn’t want to tell him that I have heard this before, that I have been sucked into the talk of a charming gentleman, only to find not only that it was all false but there was never any follow through. I was so convinced I knew his inner unhappiness that it wasn’t until the expecting parents had their happy photos posted that I knew I was a fool. Did this new one think I was that naive?

Rather than being intrigued by his professions of interest I was more offended. Sure he is good looking, and sure he may be unhappy, but am I not worth more than a mere option or vacation from reality of sorts?

As active as he was in his pursuit in creating more naughty memories, and as quite as my boudoir currently was, I made the decision to formally decline any future offers on us seeing each other, in that way, again. Not declining in a way that leaves the door open to future opportunities but in a way that said “No” and left the lingering feeling of “you are wrong and I am right”. Our paths will cross and I will be able to hold my head high. That is worth it’s weight in gold.